How to Use Strap On Dildos Safely and Comfortably in 2025

To use strap on dildos safely and comfortably, pick a good harness and dildo. Talk with your partner about what you want. Use a lot of lube to help things go smoothly. Start slow so everyone feels okay. Always clean up when you finish. People from many backgrounds like strap-on play. Look at these numbers:

You might wonder about Double Sided Dildos, a clear dildo, or Banana Dildos. No matter what you try, remember these safety tips:

• Listen to your body and your partner.

• Use the right lube for your toy.

• Clean everything after each use.

• Do not share toys without condoms.

• If you feel pain, stop and check in.

Talking openly helps you feel safe and happy when trying strap-on fun. 😊

Choosing Strap On Dildos

When you start looking for a strap on dildo, you might feel confused. There are many choices to pick from. But you do not need to worry. If you think about harness types, dildo materials, and fit, it gets easier. You can find what works best for you and your partner.

Harness Types

There are many kinds of strap-on harnesses. Each one feels different. Some work better for certain bodies or activities. Here is a quick look at the most common styles:

Tip: If you are new to strap-on play, try a jockstrap or underwear-style harness. These are simple to adjust and feel safe.

Some strap-on harnesses have O-rings you can take off. This means you can use different sizes of strap on dildo. That is helpful if you want to try new things. For the best control, pick a harness that fits snug and has a wide back. This is good if you want more support or have a bigger body.

Dildo Materials

The material of your strap on dildo is very important. It helps keep you safe and comfortable. You want something that is body-safe, not porous, and easy to clean. Here are the top choices:

• Silicone: Medical-grade or platinum-cured silicone is the best. It is soft, bends easily, and you can wash it with soap and water. Silicone dildos work for both vaginal and anal play. They come in many shapes and sizes, so you can find one that feels right.

• Glass: Borosilicate glass dildos are smooth and firm. They are safe for your body. You can clean them well and even warm or cool them for fun. Just be careful not to drop them!

• Stainless Steel: These dildos are very strong and last a long time. They are not porous and are easy to clean. They feel heavy and can give you a new feeling.

• ABS Plastic: These are hard, not porous, and easy to clean. They usually cost less but are not as bendy as silicone.

• Other Options: Some people use sealed wood or porcelain dildos. These are safe if they are finished well. Always check for cracks or chips before using them.

Never use porous materials like jelly rubber or cheap plastics. They can hold germs and are hard to clean. This is not safe for strap on dildos.

Fit and Adjustability

A good fit is very important when using a strap-on harness. You want your strap on dildo to move with your body. It should not move against you. Here is how to get the best fit:

• Adjustable Straps: Pick a harness with straps you can change. This helps you get a snug fit for any body shape.

• Padding: Some harnesses have padding made of gel or foam. This makes them softer and more comfy for longer use.

• Wide Straps: Wide straps spread out the pressure. They help stop chafing and give you more control over your strap on dildo.

• Proper Positioning: Make sure the harness sits low on your hips. The straps should not be twisted. You should be able to fit two fingers between the strap and your skin. It should be snug but not too tight.

• Check for Twists: Before you start, shake out the harness and look for twisted straps. This helps you stay comfortable.

• Body Type Considerations: Some harnesses work better for certain bodies. Jockstrap styles are good for people with penises. Thong styles can feel better for people with vulvas. Plus-size and unisex harnesses like the Joque by SpareParts can be adjusted a lot.

If you feel pinching, slipping, or pain, stop and fix the harness. Sometimes you need to try a few harnesses to find the best one. That is normal!

Remember: A harness that fits well keeps your strap on dildo steady. This lets you focus on having fun, not fixing your gear.

Preparing for Strap On Play

Communication and Consent

Before you jump into strap on play, you need to talk with your partner. Open and honest conversations help you both feel safe and excited. Here are some ways to make sure you both feel good about what’s coming:

1. Start with a chat about what you want, what you don’t want, and what you hope to try. This builds trust and makes things more fun.

2. Always look for enthusiastic consent. Both of you should feel excited and ready. If someone feels unsure, pause and talk.

3. Pick a safe word or signal. Some people use the stoplight system—green means go, yellow means slow down, red means stop.

4. Check in with each other during play. Ask simple questions like, “How does this feel?” or “Do you want to keep going?”

5. Remember, you can change your mind at any time. Keep talking, even after you start.

Tip: Communication is not just for the first time. Keep checking in, especially if you try something new like role reversal or a different position.

Practicing with the Harness

Wearing a strap-on harness for the first time can feel strange. Practice helps you get used to it and builds your confidence. Try these ideas:

• Wear the harness around the house while you do chores. This helps you learn how it moves with your body.

• Adjust the straps until it feels snug but not too tight.

• Try touching yourself or moving in different ways. You might find a spot where the harness feels best.

• Practice putting it on and taking it off. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

• Talk with your partner about what feels good or awkward.

You’ll feel more comfortable and ready for strap on play after a little practice.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is important for a safe and happy experience. Before you start, talk about what you both want and what you don’t want. Share any worries or limits. This helps you both relax and enjoy the moment. The goal is to have fun and feel close, not to push anyone past their comfort zone. When you both agree on what’s okay, you can focus on pleasure and connection. This is true for everyone, whether it’s your first-time strap-on experience or you’re trying something new.

How to Use a Strap-On

Putting On the Harness

Getting your harness on right makes everything easier and more fun. Here’s a simple way to put on your strap on dildo harness:

1. Check your harness for any damage. Look for worn straps or broken buckles.

2. Hold the harness by the main ring or D-ring. Give it a shake so the straps fall into place.

3. Undo all the buckles and loosen the straps.

4. Slip the harness over your hips or shoulders, depending on the style. Make sure the ring sits in the center.

5. Buckle the leg straps. Pull them snug, but not too tight. You should be able to fit two fingers under each strap.

6. Adjust the waist or chest strap so it sits flat and feels secure.

7. Stand up straight and move around. Tighten or loosen the straps until the harness feels snug but lets you move freely.

8. Tuck in any extra strap ends so nothing dangles or gets in the way.

9. Double-check in a mirror or ask your partner to help. Make sure everything looks and feels right.

Tip: A good fit means your strap on dildo will stay steady and you’ll feel more confident during strap-on use.

Lubrication Tips

Lubricant is your best friend when you use a strap on dildo. It helps everything glide smoothly and keeps things safe and comfy. The type of lube you pick depends on your toy:

• Always use a high-quality, body-safe lubricant that matches your strap on dildo material.

• For silicone dildos, stick with water-based lube. Silicone lube can damage your toy.

• Use a generous amount of lube on the dildo and, if needed, on your partner.

• Keep the lube nearby. You might want to add more during strap-on use.

• Ask your partner how it feels. If things get dry or sticky, add more lube.

Note: Water-based lube works with all strap on dildos and is easy to clean up. If you or your partner have sensitive skin, look for a gentle formula.

Starting Slow

When you first try strap-on use, take your time. Rushing can make things uncomfortable. Here’s how to use a strap-on in a way that feels good for both of you:

1. Talk with your partner before you start. Make sure you both feel ready and excited.

2. Clean up and get comfortable. You can even warm the strap on dildo in your hands or with warm water.

3. Use your fingers or a small toy to start. This helps your partner relax.

4. Add plenty of lube to the strap on dildo and your partner’s body.

5. Begin with gentle touches and slow movements. Let your partner guide you.

6. Try shallow thrusts at first. Go deeper only if your partner feels good.

7. Keep checking in. Ask, “How does this feel?” or “Do you want to keep going?”

8. If anything hurts, stop and adjust.

Remember: The goal is comfortable use and pleasure, not speed. Take breaks and laugh if things get awkward. That’s part of learning how to use a strap-on.

Positions for Comfort

The right position can make strap-on for sex much more enjoyable. Some positions help you relax and give you more control. Here are some favorites for using a strap-on:

• Missionary: You face your partner. This lets you see their reactions and talk easily. Great for beginners.

• Doggy Style: Your partner kneels on hands and knees. This gives you a clear view and lets your partner control the angle.

• Spoon: Both of you lie on your sides. This is cozy and helps your partner relax.

• Facing Spoon: You both face each other while lying on your sides. This adds intimacy and makes it easy to check in.

• Cowgirl/Cowboy: Your partner sits on top. They control the depth and speed, which is perfect if they feel nervous.

• Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy: Your partner faces away while on top. This gives them control and lets you use your hands for extra touch.

Try starting with the wearer on their back. This makes penetration easier and helps you both relax. You can also experiment with warming the strap on dildo before play. Changing positions during strap-on use can help you find what feels best.

No matter which position you choose, keep talking and use lots of lube. That’s the secret to how to use a strap-on comfortably and safely.

Hygiene and Aftercare

Cleaning Strap On Dildo and Harness

Keeping your strap on dildo and harness clean keeps you safe and healthy. You should always clean your strap on dildo before and after each use. Here’s how you can do it:

• Wash your strap on dildo with warm water and mild or antibacterial soap. You can also use a special toy cleaner.

• For nonporous toys like silicone, glass, or stainless steel, you can boil them for up to three minutes to sanitize them if they do not have motors.

• If your toy has a motor, remove the batteries first. Wipe it down carefully and let it air dry.

• Leather harnesses need gentle spot cleaning with soap and water. Let them air dry fully.

• Porous toys and harnesses can hold germs, so use a condom on your strap on dildo if you plan to share it.

• Always dry your toys and harnesses with a clean, lint-free towel or let them air dry.

Tip: Cleaning right after use helps prevent bacteria and keeps your strap on dildo in good shape.

Using condoms on your strap on dildo makes cleanup easier and adds a layer of safety. Condoms stop fluids from getting into small spaces and help your toy stay fresh. Just remember, do not use oil-based lube with condoms.

Safe Storage

Storing your strap on dildo and harness the right way keeps them clean and ready for next time. Here’s what you should do:

• Dry your strap on dildo and harness completely before putting them away.

• Store each strap on dildo in its own bag or container to avoid germs and damage.

• Keep porous toys away from nonporous ones so they do not break down or change shape.

• Check your toys and harnesses for cracks, mold, or other damage before each use.

• Always follow the care instructions from the maker.

“Many people only think about the strap-on dildo itself and forget about the harness, but you need to wash that too as it gets unclean, as well,” says Roos.

Aftercare and Check-Ins

After you finish using your strap on dildo, take time for aftercare. This helps both you and your partner feel good, safe, and cared for.

1. Talk with your partner about how you both feel. Ask if anything felt good or if something was uncomfortable.

2. Offer cuddles, water, or a warm blanket. Small things can help you both relax.

3. Check in again later, maybe the next day, to see how you both feel about the experience.

4. Respect each other’s feelings and needs. If you feel sad or unsure, talk about it together.

5. If you ever feel upset for a long time, it’s okay to ask for help from someone you trust.

Good aftercare builds trust and makes your next strap on dildo experience even better.

Troubleshooting Strap On Play

Discomfort and Fit Issues

You might feel discomfort or notice your strap-on slipping during use. This is common, especially if you are new to strap on play. A harness that does not fit well can cause pinching or sliding. Always follow the manufacturer’s instructions when putting on your harness. Slip your arms through the shoulder straps and adjust them so they rest comfortably. Fasten the chest and leg straps snugly, but do not make them too tight. Adjust all straps carefully to keep the harness stable. Make sure the straps lie flat and the chest strap sits in the right spot. If you still have problems, try a harness with extra support or padding. Some harnesses use special straps or padding to prevent slippage and add comfort. Take your time to find the best fit for your body.

Tip: If your strap-on feels uncomfortable, pause and readjust. Comfort is key for a good experience.

Enhancing Pleasure

You can make strap on play more enjoyable for both you and your partner. Use plenty of high-quality lubricant on the strap-on and any areas that need it. Communicate often and check in about how things feel. Try different positions, like missionary, doggy style, or spooning. Use pillows or wedges to find the best angle. Some strap-ons have clitoral pads or vibration features for extra stimulation. You can also add toys like vibrating dildos or cock rings. Double-ended or strapless strap-ons can give pleasure to both partners at once. Remember, foreplay helps everyone relax and get excited. After play, take time for cuddling, talking, and cleaning up together.

Note: Exploring new positions and toys can help you discover what feels best for both of you.

Common Mistakes

Many beginners make the same mistakes with strap-on use. You might think the wearer can feel what the receiver feels, but this is not true. Always check in with your partner about comfort and boundaries. Here are some common mistakes and how to avoid them:

1. Choosing the wrong harness or dildo size, which causes discomfort.

2. Forgetting to clean toys properly, which can lead to infections.

3. Not using enough lubricant, making things dry or painful.

4. Skipping communication before and during strap on play.

5. Failing to adjust the harness, leading to poor control.

6. Rushing into penetration without warming up.

7. Losing patience while learning. Practice makes it easier.

Start slow, use lots of lube, and talk openly. These steps help you avoid problems and enjoy strap-on play more.

You can enjoy strap on dildos safely and comfortably by starting with a snug, adjustable harness and a body-safe toy. Talk openly with your partner about what you want and how you feel. Use water-based lube and take time to relax together. Clean your toys after each use. Exploring new things with trust and care can bring you closer and boost your confidence. Remember, your pleasure and comfort matter most! 😊